Category: Uncategorized

You were my exhale… the peace, the strength, the safety that allowed me to relax and just breathe.  I miss that.  I miss knowing that everything is okay.  I miss you.   Read more

At some point in my late teens or early twenties – I think it was my college years, I began writing down quotes that spoke to me in an inspirational way.  I posted them here and there as reminders to myself.  One that keeps resurfacing in my thoughts lately is, “Be Happy For This Moment, Read more

I had dinner with some good friends the other night and life was good.  Today, it is rainy and quiet – one of those days that are good for snuggling under a blanket with a cup of hot tea and a book… but I am sad.  I sit here in the house that I shared Read more

Rather than trying to focus on a specific thought, I am just going to write what comes to mind.  Depression is exhausting.Fear is powerful.Other people don’t have it all figured out. Everyone is battling their own inner demons.I have mixed feelings about vengeance. I have felt from a young age that love was and would be a Read more

So, it has been a little while since my last blog entry.  The reason?  A state of overwhelm.  Although I find writing to be reflective and cathartic, it is simultaneously just another task that I feel I should be doing, but don’t really want to. I may have mentioned before that it is tough work to Read more

My husband was a cowboy, a real cowboy.  I have never seen anyone move more in sync with an animal, so calmly yet commanding, so fluidly, so beautifully.  To watch him ride a horse was mesmerizing and inspiring.  He told me that he knew when he was 3 or 4 years old that he wanted Read more

Jake died in 2020.  For years and years up until then, I don’t know – ten years?, fifteen?, I had worked out anywhere from 4 to 6 days a week.  I was health conscious and knew that a regular exercise routine was crucial to both my physical and mental health.  It is now 2025 and Read more

Don’t ask me how I am doing.  I cannot honestly say that I am fine, or good, or doing well.  Likely I will respond with a forced “okay,” because that is the best contribution I have to answer the thoughtless yet common greeting of “Hello, how are you doing?”  But I am not okay.  I Read more

I wear his t-shirts to bed every night.  I wear his socks, which come all the way up to my knees.  I wear his chaps when I ride horses – again, way too long for me.  I use his coffee mug, sit in his chair.  I started doing all of that to be close to Read more

I just finished When Your Soulmate Dies by Alan Wolfelt.  It is the first time since my husband died that I felt like someone truly understood what my grief has been like.  I am sure it was partly the timing of the reading, as people were generous with gifting me books on grief and healing Read more