Jake died in 2020. For years and years up until then, I don’t know – ten years?, fifteen?, I had worked out anywhere from 4 to 6 days a week. I was health conscious and knew that a regular exercise routine was crucial to both my physical and mental health. It is now 2025 and I have worked out approximately 4 to 6 days per year since the loss of him. Yes, you read that right “4 to 6 days per year.” How does something that was once so important to me not even matter anymore? Where did that part of me go? Will it come back? I read somewhere that extreme grief changes every cell in your body. That is simultaneously fascinating and disturbing. Who am I now? It seems impossible to move forward without knowing where I am going. I do not have the same passions, the same goals, the same dreams. So much about me has changed that I don’t even recognize myself.